|
|
UWA 07.09.06 Show Review |
|
UWA 07.09.06 Show Review - The Final Show
This is the official last show of the UWA...for
now. The only match on the card is the first
ever "Homosexual Homicide" match in which four
men (Prototype, Calypso, Gage, and Scott
Slavins) compete in a gauntlet-style,
double-elimination match. Calypso and Prototype
are the first wrestlers in the match.
Homosexual Homicide Part 1: Prototype Vs
Calypso
This is noteworthy as it's the first time these
men have met in a one-on-one match. PT cuts a
promo before the bell and explains how he's been
out for a while due to Gage playing politics. He
puts over his bedtime stories and his spankings.
That's uh...interesting. He promises to get
'Funky Like a Monkey.' The bell rings and both
men lock up with a Calypso headlock. He takes PT
down and continues to do so each time PT tries
to fight up. Calypso's goatee is out of control
at this point. Calypso gets tired of the
headlock and turns out and gives Prototype the
CALAGRA followed by a standing doublestomp and
three elbows to the back for two. Both men stand
up and stare down. A test of strength ends
poorly for PT who then gets put in the cravate,
followed by a snapmare and a headlock. Calypso
really wrenches in on the headlock and then
wrenches in on the humping. Calypso stands up
only to drop back down and rape PT once more
before locking in the headlock again. PT gets
out of it with a backbreaker though which he
follows up with a springboard legdrop off the
trampoline and then applies the PROAGRA to
Calypso, sending him out of the ring. PT
celebrates as Calypso guards his anus. Calypso
gets back in the ring to get put in a headlock
and PT applies the STPT. Horatio mentions how
neither men are using lubrication. PT goes or a
roll up which Calypso reverses in a battle of
Ass Vs Face..."and ass always wins." Calypso
puts on the hat PT wore to the ring and takes
down the owner from behind and applies a front
face lock and spanks PT. A stiff body slam and a
leg drop gets Calypso two. Calypso slaps PT down
a few times then hits a gutwrench powerbomb. A
snap suplex leads to Calypso clubbing the back
of PT's back by means of elbows and knees.
Calypso hits a Minchinoku Driver but misses a
diving elbow and PT applies an armlock. Both men
fight up after rolling around for leverage until
Calypso hits a sick looking shellshock for
two....until Calypso bridges the pin and gets
two.
(7:55).
This was a great way to open the series as both
men managed to put on a fun, entertaining opener
without giving too much away. Most of the match
was comedy (in a sexual manner) with both men
playing their parts to a T. Another thing that
we saw in this match (and throughout the rest of
the series) is Prototype working with what he
has - and that's comedy. Out of the for men in
the match, PT is the least-experianced and has
never been in big one-on-one matches, so they
decided to do the smart thing and put him in an
environment he works well in and one that
doesn't expose him too much. Kayfabe, both men
slowed things down to conserve their energy and
to not reveal too much of their game plan to
Slavins and Gage, especially Calypso who did
very little of his most signature and effective
moves. While this was basically a squash, PT was
able to come out not looking like a total fool
and actually came out looking better than before
as he stood up against Calypso for a decent
amount of time and took a lot of damage before
finally being pinned by a brutal, face-first
shellshock. **1/2
Winner: Calypso
Homosexual Homicide Part 2: Calypso Vs
Gage
Gage comes running out and hits a sunset flip
for a two, but Calypso rolls out and hits a
shining wizard giving him a breather. He is
showing the affects of the last match though as
he desperately attacks the back of Gage. Calypso
and Gage exchange punches with Gage winning
after a dropkick. A Gage suplex gets two but
Calypso locks in a choke lock followed by
repeated knees to the back. Calypso drives the
knee in the back and hits some weak kicks...not
weak in the sense they look back...weak in the
sense Calypso is worn down. Calypso applies a
headlock until he's backdropped out of it. Gage
forcefully stomps Calypso and hits a shooting
star forearm to the face for two. Gage lifts
Calypso up and hits a sitout hurricarana, a
headscissors, and a DDT. He puts one leg on
Calypso for the pin which Calypso turns into an
ankle lock but Gage gets the ropes quickly.
Calypso kicks Gage's ankle, taking him down, and
continues to work on the ankle with repeated
knees to the ankle followed by simply twisting
the ankle in various directions. Simple yet
effective. Calypso stomps on the ankle some more
and then hits a side-russian legsweep for two.
Calypso takes out the ankle again and locks in
the ankle lock, but Gage rolls out of it and
applies an ankle lock of his hold; though, like
last time, Calypso has the ropes. Gage then hits
a curbstomp to prevent Calypso from quickly
getting up. A rollup gets two by means of the
ropes. Gage hits a running calf kick for two.
Gage applies an interesting reverse headlock,
but Calypso manages to turn it into a regular
headlock until he's able to grab the ankle and
stretches the entire body of Gage, who then
turns it into a rollup, which Calypso rolls into
a modified sharpshooter. Calypso hits the
CAFLIPSO. He grabs the chair and sets it up,
possibly going for the shining wizard. As he
sets it up, Gage flips over Calypso's back and
takes his feet out from under him, smashing his
face in the chair. A sharpshooter is ended by
ropebreak, though Gage manages to hit a
moonsault for the three count as we cut to
commercial break!
(16:29).
This was a perfect example of why Calypso is one
of the best sellers in the UWA as the entire
match he played it off as though he was
nearly-dead...every move taking so much out of
him. The start of the match saw him simply
trying to wear down the fresh Gage like he did
with Prototype, yet he didn't put into account
that Gage is more experianced than PT. Calypso
broke out a couple of his common moves and also
pulled out some moves and submissions we haven't
seen since the early days of the UWA, which was
an obvious, desperate attempt for victory. Gage
wasn't able to hit too much of his high-flying
offense yet once again proved he was the man to
go to if you want to see Calypso defeated. Gage
played the card of letting Calypso simply
wearing himself out as Calypso's real downfall
was when he took too long to set up the shining
wizard in the chair. Gage saw the opening and
took it, leading to the face smash and the
moonsault. I like the moonsault finish as it
shows that Calypso was so worn down that Gage
didn't have to his one of his finishers to beat
him...a simple move like the moonsault would do.
It also makes Prototype look strong, indirectly.
It also puts over the fact that the worst enemy
is fatigue and with every passing second it
grows more and more strong. While 17 minutes may
not seem like a long time, you also have to put
into account that for eight of those minutes,
Calypso was facing a fresh Gage who was hitting
everything 100% and could take twice as much as
what Calypso was dishing out. I can always
appreciate when little details like that are
noted. ***
Homosexual Homicide Part 3: Gage Vs Scott
Slavins
Slavins takes his time to get in the ring and
doesn't seem too worried about the match. He
takes down Gage and goes straight to the leg. It
should be noted that Slavins is working with a
bad leg and is only able to stand thanks to
painkillers. Gage breaks it with a chokehold
until Slavins turns it into a pin then back to
the leg. Slavins works the entire leg, not just
the ankle, by smashing the back of Gage's knee
into his own. Slavins headbutts Gage as he
applies the Slavins Leg Special. Gage grabs the
ropes but everytime Slavins pulls him back and
puts in another hold. Gage gets tossed in the
ropes and then dropkicked in the leg, causing
him to flip over. A stretch muffler is applied
from almost every angle possible, though Gage
refuses to tap each time. Gage's shoe comes off
during a leg lock, but he uses this to his
advantage and pounds Slavins in the head with
it. Gage hits a flurry of offense with punches
and clotheslines until Slavins is able to roll
to the outside. Slavins runs back in the ring
though and goes straight to the leg with the
figure four. Gage tries to roll out of it but is
unable to. He grabs the ropes but Slavins is
relentless on the leg. Gage manages to stand up
but Slavins take him right back down and snaps
the leg back twice followed by a leg pretzel.
Gage dodges a sweep and hits three suplexes hits
a shooting star for two. Gage hits a
doubleunderhook sit out powerbomb for two, but
Slavins is able to punch Gage down and follow up
with a shining wizard. Slavins goes for a
springboard senton but gets nothing but knees.
Gage sinches in the surfboard and hits a
springboard legdrop for two. Gage applies the
Texas Cloverleaf but Slavins manages to crawl to
the ropes. Gage hits three German suplexes on
Slavins, the last one sending him straight on
his head. A Northern Lights suplex turns ugly
but Gage manages to get two. Gage punches
Slavins and hits a running forearm, causing
Slavins to do a Slavins Flip on a chair. It
turns out to be a facade, however, as Slavins
nails Gage in the head with the chair and then
the back as Gage tries to pick him up. Slavins
hits a flipping senton over the chair for two,
then a jumping senton for two. Gage gets tossed
in the ropes and then hit with the LungBlower.
Slavins hits a springboard spear off the
trampoline and applies the SlavinsLock and Gage
finally taps
(29:54).
This match started out with Slavins simply
continuing the work that Calypso started with
Gage's ankle...though he took it a step further
and made it the entire leg that was damaged.
While this wasn't the most exciting and
fast-paced match these two have had, this was
certaintly a good match, especially considering
the circumstances with Gage just wrestling a
match and Slavins working on basically one leg.
Slavins shows that he's not quite the thinking
man that Calypso is in this match by busting out
a fair number of his "big" moves in the match,
which may come back to haunt him later on. It
did not take a big move to pin Gage, just time
and effort on Slavins part as he chose the
submission route. Gage has always been known for
being a tough wrestler and this match proved it
as he took everything Slavins dished out until
it was just too much. As is a common problem,
however, Gage forgot to sell the leg once he
took control of the match, though, unlike most
Slavins/Gage matches, the psychology actually
paid off in the end. This was also a sort of
feud-ender for the two men as Gage was
constantly being cheated by Slavins in terms of
getting a title shot and the one time Slavins
finally did offer him one...he choked. ***
Homosexual Homicide Part 4: Scott Slavins
Vs Prototype
PT attacks Slavins from under the ring and hits
a springboard bulldog followed by a Protoplex
and a Protokick. This is also the first time the
AAR members have wrestled each other. PT attacks
Slavins with Slavins' own shoe until he gets
kicked off. Slavins dishes out some hard
punches, but PT does not fall. An arm bar and
arm breaker, later, however, and PT is begging
to fall down. Slavins wraps PT's arm around his
back and under Slavins' knees and elbows the
back of PT until PT rolls out into a two.
Slavins punches PT some more and follows up with
a single-arm DDT and then a single-arm Cattle
Mutilation, but there's no submission. Slavins
sets up the trampoline and hits the BUTT PUNCH.
Prototype sells it for 25 seconds while Slavins
looks on. PT manages to stand up but gets taken
down with a superkick. Slavins locks in the
Figure Four leg lock, until PT rolls it over
which stays in until Slavins rolls it over and
whoos an insane amount until PT grabs the ropes.
Both men are on bad legs though, and both men
get taken out with a DDT/Rock Bottom variation.
Prototype is the first up though and hits a leg
drop, but gets nothing but boot after he goes
for an elbow drop. Slavins slaps PT's ass and
then locks in the Digger followed by the Genital
Claw. After a very homosexual pin, PT hits a
springboard grapple but hits Slavins with a
running Protochokeslam. PT begins telling
Slavins a bedtime story about Funaki and Tajiri...sending
Slavins to sleep. He follows up with the dreaded
purple nurple and then hits the PROAGRA and a
curb stomp. Slavins is snoring the entire time.
Prototype grabs a chair and begins to give
Slavins belated birthday spankings and a
backbreaker. Slavins begins sleep walking though
he's sent down with a spear, giving Prototype
the win!
(38:21).
Prototype once again got stuck doing what he does
best - comedy. There was an interesting "story"
here, however, as when it came time to wrestle
Slavins dominated almost the entire time, but
only through sophmoric humor and hijinxes was
Prototype able to win the match. While this
match wasn't much of a wrestling display, it was
fun to watch and does show that Prototype can
hang with the big boys, one way or the other.
This, of course, would be the token comedy
break, as would the next match be... **2/3
Homosexual Homicide Part 5: Prototype Vs
Calypso
Calypso comes out, looking for Prototype, though
he is nowhere to be found. We're told during the
commercial break that PT has been raping
Slavins. Calypso looks under the ring but finds
nothing, that is, until PT attacks Calypso from
behind with a reverse DDT and a backbreaker. He
applies an interesting submission hold which
Calypso rolls over for a pin but PT comes back
up with a leg drop...then a springboard legdrop.
He follows up with a Proto-Curb-Stomp and a
splash. After some repeated knees and kicks to
Calypso's back, PT hits another rib breaker.
Calypso catches him though and hits a
spinebuster. Calypso hits a Caflipso off the
trampoline and follows up with a series of
backbreakers to show Prototype how it's done.
Calypso rams his knee in PT's back, pulling on
the arms. PT goes into convlusions and Calypso
hits a springboard Proagra to which PT responds,
"That was a silver dick in my ass" as Calypso
runs around the ring. Calypso then hits the Ass
Grab of doom which causes PT to roll around the
ring some more. Calypso then hits the Red Shirt
Butt Punch followed by a kick to his ass and a
chair shot. To top it off, he spits water on the
ass. Calypso gets serious though and hits a
powerbomb for two. A suplex gets Calypso two. PT
hits an elbow drop from the ladder then dances
for two. PT hits the $$MoneyTime$$ and goes for
a roll up but Calypso reverses it into a series
of punches and a final kick to the head. Calypso
hits the flying clothesline off the trampoline.
PT goes for a roll up but gets two. PT goes for
a DVD but Calypso applies the Digger, almost
causing PT to tap. A series of FaceFuckers
nearly knocks PT out. A slap to the stomach puts
PT over Calypso's knee and then Calypso spanks
PT with a piece of wood and his hand for two.
Calypso hits a ProtoElbow and a series of chops
and kicks to the back followed by a Rock Bottom
on the Elbow into the Koija Clutch. PT begins
the BedTime Story which Calypso reverses, but
Prototype hits a German Suplex and tells the
Bedtime Story and Calypso snores! Prototype
grabs a chair and begins to masturbate while
loooking at the sleeping Calypso. Of course,
once Prototype gets close to orgasm, Calypso
gets up and hits the running knee to the face,
knocking him out cold for the three count!
(54:21)
This was an...interesting match. It wasn't exactly
good and probably the worst portion of the match
as some of the comedy stuff went off too long.
It was funny at times but there were instances
where you just thought, "Ok, get on with the
wrestling. The ending was creative, one way or
the other, and there were spots where it looked
like Calypso was just trying to kill Prototype,
especially the end. I believe their first
portion was much better than this but it looked
like Calypso was trying to conserve his energy
for his next two possible matches. **
Homosexual Homicide Part 6: Calypso Vs
Gage
Gage runs out and goes for the sunset flip again
and Calypso tries to go for the knee but gets
caught in the Ankle Lock until he gets the
ropes. Calypso rolls out of the ring and catches
his breath. A grapple sees Gage apply a headlock
takeover. Calypso tries to break out of it but
with little luck. Finally he gets the leg lock
take over, Gage flips out of it, then hits a
suplex and goes right back to work on the leg. A
flipping leg breaker gets followed up by a stiff
kick to the head and the dragon sleeper until
Calypso fights out of it with a sitdown
spinebuster. Both men get up and Calypso takes
out the ankle of Gage. He continues to work on
the leg. Gage manages to get on his feet but
gets punched down by Calypso then eventually hit
with a shining wizard. Calypso htis a suplex for
two. Calypso locks in the ankle lock but Gage
gets the ropes. Calypso drops the ankle on his
knee twice followed by a suplex on Calypso's
knee and then another ankle to knee slam.
Calypso hits the springboard clothesline and
looks to have hurt his knee in the process. He
only manages a two out of that, however. Calypso
continues the ankle work with more submissions.
Gage turns one of them into a choke but Calypso
gets the ropes. Gage goes for a springboard
hurricarana but at the same time Calypso
powerbombed Gage. Calypso hits some hard punches
to the head until Gage falls down, so then he
applies some knees to the back at the one hour
mark of the match. Both men slap their way up
with Gage winning and Gage hits a running knee
to the face. A Gage Recliner ends with punches
to the forehead and a frontface slap int othe
crippler crossface - nice series of moves there.
Calypso tries to roll Gage over but it doesn't
work out that well. Both men get up and do a
test of strength with ends in a wristlock,
taking Calypso down. Calypso rolls out of an arm
lock for two. Grapple sends Gage into the ropes
who hits a headscissors, a dropkick, a sidekick,
a spinning kick, then tosses Calypso into the
ropes for a spinning wheel kick for two. Gage
for a headscissors roll up which Calypso fights
out of and turns into a Calypso-Clash for the
three count!
(1:05:34)
This was a decent affair between two men who were
extremely tired and a Calypso who knew he had
yet another match coming to him. The leg work
didn't go anywhere, which is odd for a Calypso
match, but it did throw in the element of
surprise, I guess. Still, not a big fan of the
random finish. Calypso is looking strong in this
match and finally scored his first 2006 win
against Gage in singles action. Now Calypso only
has one more obstacle to overcome and that's the
man he's defeated once in 2006 - Scott Slavins.
***
Homosexual Homicide Part 7: Calypso Vs
Scott Slavins
This being Calypso's third match in a row, Scott
Slavins rushes the ring and begins attacking
Calypso with stiff punches followed by kicks. A
series of hard forearms gets two. Calypso blocks
a punch with a hard slap and hits a backbreaker
followed by a rib breaker and a backbreaker over
the shoulder. Calypso hits a knee and an elbow
to the back followed by a Caflipso into the knee
to the spine choke. Slavins hits a snapmare and
hits the sliced bread #2. He follows up with a
single arm DDT and an arm ringer and a fish
hook, none of which makes Calypso tap. Calypso
tries to break out of an armbar but can't which
leads to Slavins stomping on the arm from the
ladder. He tosses Calypso into the ropes, brings
him back, and flips him over with the arm for
two. Calypso and Slavins exchanges pinfalls
which ends with Slavins dropkicking Calypso in
the face. A tornado DDT on the chair by Slavins
gets two. Slavins hits an SKO for two as well.
Slavins hits a tornado DDT off the ladder, two
suplexes, and a side-Russian legsweep. Slavins
goes for the senton but gets knees to the back
followed by a suplex into the knee. Calypso hits
a DVD on the knee, followed by a backbreaker,
and a backbreaker on the chair. Calypso steps
and walks over Slavins on the chair then hits
the roaring elbow twice followed by a chairshot
to the back. A powerbomb gets two for Calypso.
Gutwrench powerbomb by Calypso leads to a
backdrop off the trampoline and the curbstomp. A
rock bottom on the knee, a backbreaker, a
backbreaker on the shoulder, and a Shellshock
leads to Calypso having to drag Slavins'
nearly-dead body to the middle of the ring to
hit another shellshock. Slavins somehow kicks
out at two. Calypso goes for another backbreaker
but Slavins flips out for the SKO. Slavins
climbs the ladder and hits a double stomp off
the ladder and hits a brainbuster followed by a
Slavinarherra for two. Slavins goes for another
brainbuster but Calypso fights out for the
Shellshock and gets the three count! New UWA
Undisputed Champion!
(1:15:03)
Calypso mentions how he walked out the first and
last shows as Champion and says, "It's been a
fun two years, motherfuckers." This portion of
the match was the most intense and both men let
it all out. I really enjoyed what may be the
last match between these two and was a great way
to close the match and the UWA as they have been
great together for the last two years. Calypso
winning was also a nice moment as this entire
year he's been working hard but always seem to
come up short. Overall, the Homosexual Homicide
match itself was a mixed bag of brawling,
wrestling, and comedy. It was a very
entertaining hour with the worst part being
Prototye/Calypso Part II but even then it had
it's moments. For Slavins/Calypso I give it ****
and for overall I rate it ****1/2 just for a
great way to end the UWA.
|
|
Copyright 2008 (UWAOnline.org). All Rights Reserved.
|
|
|
